Staking my claim on myself

I am a feminist.
I believe in this crazy notion that all humans, regardless of gender identity and/or gender expression should have the right to go after their dreams, to enjoy life their way, and find happiness and forge meaning wherever possible, as long as it doesn't harm anyone else.

This is why I completely do a flip-table (seen "Thor"? Yeah, like that) when so-called feminists bash down my ways of forging meaning and finding happiness as "pandering to patriarchy" or "too compliant".


Open letter to the so-called feminist who decided to shame me,

You need a better hobby. You thought that calling me a slut would make me less inclined to follow whoever I want on twitter, talk about whatever I want on this blog, and less inclined to call out stupidity as I see it.
I guess you are disappointed now.

This whole thing started when this woman decided to call me a slut and a whore, then go into a rage about me being too lenient about my sexual freedom (yeah, I know). Unfortunately, none of my four sexual relationships have made me any money. I don't even know how to respond to the slut part, except... Really? You call yourself a feminist and yet you find it prudent to slut shame someone?

I have had four (4) sexual partners in my 29 year long life. HOWEVER, even if I had had 40, 400 or 4000 sexual partners, it would be NONE of YOUR BUSINESS. As long as all partners are safe, consenting, and above the legal age, why should it be anyone else' business who you have sex with?

And then you rage at me for pandering to patriarchy when I tell you I am not attracted to people sexually. Ever heard of asexuality? Yes, it's a thing. Learn to use a search engine.

You might want to sit down for this part. I am about to shock your closed off little mind (see what I did there?)

I am a consenting sexual participant.
I am sexually submissive because it gives me pleasure.
I take pain and I relish in it, because I FUCKING LIKE IT.
I submit my will and my control to Boy, because I trust him to not abuse that trust. The experience of having that trust rewarded is better than any adrenaline high I've ever had. The look of absolute adoration, pure lust, and undiluted love in his eyes when he takes what I give and returns it is total bliss for me.
I let him tie me up and take a crop to my body because the blending of pain and pleasure in my mind is a rush not unlike laughing until my jaws ache.

I beg him to push my limits past the point of fear, into a state of pure peace and tranquility, because to me, there's no other sensation like it. Perfect clarity, being absolutely present in the moment, in the space I inhabit.
Every sensation amplified into a brilliant kaleidoscope.
Add an orgasm to that state of mind and there is NOTHING but harmony.
Nothing but pleasure, touch, connection, and harmony.

How DARE you try to make this into something dirty? How dare you try to make me question my own ability to consent to something I enjoy? Something that feels so damn good?

You claim to stand for women's right to be who they are, but you would have me deny myself what I want, because it doesn't fit your comfort zone? You claim to promote the right for women to find happiness and forge meaning, yet you want me to step away from something that gives me pleasure and happiness, because I happen to like being submissive to my partner?

Fuck. You.

Sincerely,
Johey.

OK, so this turned out a bit more frustrated than I had hoped. It just really pisses me off when people who claim to be allies, advocates, or a part of something turn out to be total hypocrites.

Never let anyone make you feel ashamed of who you are and what you like.

If it harm none, do what ye like.

DFTBA