Hiding in a rainbow

I am a outspoken and loud advocate and ally of the LGBTQIA community. I believe that one day, all humans will be a part of something larger than themselves. That one day, we will not let our own minds make up limits and boundaries and borders between cultures and people and communities.

About a year ago, I found my own sexuality. I found that magic understanding of who I am, and I wanted to shout it to the world. But I hid and I kept hiding, disguising as "I don't care" and "It doesn't matter". I kept lying to myself over and over until one day, I couldn't do it anymore. I came out to my mother and five minutes after, I regretted ever telling her.

Because coming out as asexual hurt. My parents readily accepted my sister being gay, but accepting that I am asexual seemed to be too hard.
It might be, as Boy put it, because my parents have seen the pain and suffering my sister has faced, struggling with her identity, her sexuality, and a society which, while publicly accepting and welcoming, sneers and boos at everyone who isn't like everyone else, and they don't want me to go through the same.
What my parents couldn't have known is that my experience is vastly different from my sister's.

The understanding for gay persons is growing every day. Being gay is not the same mythical beast it used to be, even as gay people are still persecuted all over the world. We hear about Gay Pride, Gay Bars, Gay Porn. We discuss same-sex marriages and same-sex rights. It's amazing, the way diversity can be celebrated.

Sadly, in this celebrating, we tend to forget other groups of individuals.

We don't discuss same-GENDER relationships. We don't discuss trans* relationships. Trans* rights are rarely in the news. Hate crimes against gay individuals are seen often. Hate crimes against trans* and queer individuals are rarely seen.

Discussing asexuality is like trying to discuss fur colors of unicorns.

Even within a community like the LGBTQIA community, which has faced discrimination and hate for so long, there is discrimination against others. There are so-called ally groups that refuse to acknowledge trans* people, bisexual, asexual, and queer people. Like being gay is the only "other" sexuality. Like there are only two genders among humans.

To these people, I say, learn to use a search engine. Learn to listen and see. If you can't open your mind the nice way, maybe bashing your head against a brick wall might prove productive.

This site is a great guide to LGBTQIA terminology.

And here's a great guide to how to be an ally to asexual people.


DFTBA