SAD on a bus

It's been almost three weeks and it's time to get off your lazy ass and get that job you've been eying since you arrived in Dublin. Jerk!Brain is constantly nagging you to do something besides lounching around, never mind that you clean, go grocery shopping, and are exploring your surroundings. Time to earn your keep.

So you get on the computer and look up what you need to get an income. The actually-having-a-job part aside, you need a PPS, a bus card, and a bank account.

So you get the bus card and look up how to get a PPS.

You need to already have a job to be allowed to apply for PPS, and you need a PPS to open a bank account, and you need PPS and a bank account to get a secure employment.

This is when your anxiety is making itself known and reminds you about all the horrible, judgy things humans do to each other. Along with anxiety, Jerk!Brain is singing a little song about how you can't do anything, that you're a failure, and a lazy failure at that.

To make things an ocean of worries better, the PPS office is about an hour on a bus from your current residence. Then you have to go back to get the bank account, before being able to hand in the papers to Employer. You don't like buses. Sitting on a bus with x amount of strangers makes you uncomfortable and wakes up your social anxiety, your general anxiety's lazy cousin.

But you will get it done, because you know you will feel indestructible when you are done. You will shove a sock in Jerk!Brain's tirade and you will lull your anxieties back to sleep.

Just not today. Because today, you are allowed to feel small and insecure and lonely, so you can be strong and successful tomorrow.

DFTBA