TW: Fear

Trigger warnings apply for: phobias, anxiety, self-hate, self-harm

This post was inspired by this photo found on Facebook and the group "Beauty, Brains, and Beyond"

This picture is extremely simplified and does not apply to everyone. It just made me think about my own fears and anxieties.

I am not afraid of the dark and usually not what's in it, though at times, my mind tries to convince me that there are ET's and burglars out to get me when I try to sleep.
I am terrified of falling, but I really love sitting on the edge of a cliff, watching the ground far below.
I am terrified of rejection. Being rejected and abandoned is the most acute of my fears. It easily trumps my fear of drowning and my fear of burning alive.

I freeze up and get troubles breathing if I have to talk in front of people.
I really do fear stagnation. Getting stuck in the same place for too long a time makes me antsy, anxious and frustrated.

I have gone through loads of tools, good and very bad, to control my fears in the past.

I have avoided getting to know people, because I didn't want to get attached to people who would leave me.

I have tried to change myself with extreme methods in order to lessen my anxieties and get accepted. I have starved myself, I have cut myself. I have denied my own worth, just to bring a stop to the fear of rejection. This doesn't work, trust me.

I have bought a fire extinguisher, I am a perfectionist when it comes to fire safety, in order to lessen my fears. Don't get me wrong, I love fire and fireworks and explosions. It's just the thought of being burned alive. I guess, it's really the pain and helplessness I fear.

I am so afraid of drowning, that I have hit friends who pulled me under, yet I love swimming and diving.

If you take a crane fly near me, I will make you deaf before punching you in the face. I don't care who you are. Some people have issues with arachnids. I have problems with crane flies.

Fear is an ice pick in the chest and a complete lock down of reasoning. You cannot have a logical discussion with anxiety. There are people who have no phobias and they can't possibly understand the blind terror that shoots through the entire system.

It's frustrating, crippling, and completely uncontrollable. It's a feeling of getting crushed and ripped apart at the same time. It's the feeling of the heart stopping and getting choked.

There is help to get, but it will not work for everyone. People are different. What works for some doesn't work for others. Just remember that trying to reason with someone who is living with a phobia will only add guilt, shame, and frustration to the fear. Instead, help eliminate the object of fear.

You don't try to reason with a cat who's afraid of fireworks while the New Year's celebration is ongoing, so why try to reason with a human with a phobia while they're in the middle of a freak-out?