Boredom

I have complained about being bored all my life. Sometimes, it's been bad enough for people around, especially adults, to throw me out of a room or tell me to go outside and play.

This video by VSauce put my boredom into a completely new perspective. For one thing, I discovered why I love puzzle games. They force me to think, to actually use my brain. I love challenges like that.

My mind is a very strange place, for several reasons.

1. I never think in words. My thoughts, ideas, and my imagination is always in pictures and images. Some are in color and some are in black-and-white, but my mind works like a commercial reel, one video clip after another after another. When I get stressed or panicky, the clips become a jumble, like the old movie reels when they get tangled.

2. I can find co-relations and comparisons in almost everything. For example, how anthropology and archaeology work together is completely logical to me. Same with space-time research and quantum mechanics. I can look at something and almost immediately see how it relates to something else.

3. My memory is pretty odd. As long as I can relate new information to something I already know, the new information will stick. It has to do with the relations-thing my mind does when it sees things.

4. I am extremely curious, so I go out of my way to find new and interesting information an experiences.

5. I have a very vivid and lively imagination, which I believe is related to #1 and #2.

How does this relate to boredom, you ask?

Well, I need things to do at a pretty constant rate in order to not feel stupid or bored. That fuzzy sensation when your will to live is slowly trickling out of your ears is not something I find enjoyable. I love puzzle games, because they keep my mind sharp. On the other hand, depression severely dulled my senses and I am very very VERY happy that the anti-depressants help clearing the fog from my mind.

Boredom scrambles the world I have created in my mind, and instead of a clear mountain lake filled with video reels (think cinematic records a la Black Butler), I have a monsoon storm of impressions, sensations, and thoughts. The upside is that I am forced to come up with new ways to keep my mind clear every time I get this bored. The downside is that I can get very aggressive and annoyed when my mind is scrambled.

Boredom feeds imagination. It pushes us forward, towards innovation and new ideas. It's the basis for imagination. But only if it's kept in check. Boredom can also feed depression and anxiety.

I wish that all kids would have the opportunity to feel soul crushing boredom at one point in their life. It might help propel their imagination and ambition to new heights.