Yesterday, a 17 year old boy and a 20 year old teacher's aid, named Lavan, were killed
in a terrorist attack at a school in the town I grew up in. The teacher's aid died protecting students. The 17 year old succumbed to his injuries at the hospital. Another teacher and a 15 year old boy were severly injured, but are no longer looking to shake hands with Charon.
Yesterday,
a white man, 21 years old, had decided, because this school had
students who don't look like him, that he would go there, armed with
large knives, and stab anyone who had the, in his eyes, wrong skin
color. The police had to shoot him to stop his rampage. The terrorist died of his injuries at the hospital.
2 dead, 2 severly injured. Several others mildly injured. A school with 400 students. It is the worst terrorist attack on Swedish soil since 1940.
I don't understand it.
I don't understand this hatred so many feel towards humans who happen to just be a little different. This hate some people feel towards those with different skin color, hair color, sexuality, gender, religion, culture, or ethnicity.
We are all humans. We are all "we". How can you hate someone just because they don't look like you?
Rest in peace, Lavan. Your heroism saved many lives. You are a true Swedish hero.
Sources
http://www.aftonbladet.se/nyheter/kolumnister/oisincantwell/article21634251.ab (Swedish)
http://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/oct/22/pupils-wounded-in-sword-attack-at-swedish-school
https://www.rt.com/news/319341-swedish-school-sword-attacker/
http://www.thelocal.se/20151022/masked-man-enters-school-with-sword
fredag 23 oktober 2015
tisdag 13 oktober 2015
I broke up with Facebook.
For more than six years, I was in an onesided relationship with you. I poured my privacy, my hopes, my dreams, and large parts of my soul into this relationship. I felt addicted, dependent, and needy. It was a sick relationship that left me bitter and frustrated more often than it gave me happiness and connection.
I finally had the strength to break the Devil Snare hold you had on me and I feel refreshed. I don't miss you. I still think I need to share my thoughts and feelings with you, but I don't miss you. 20 hours have passed, and I don't miss you.
No longer is there a tab saying "Facebook" opening with my browser. No longer do I check my news feed as soon as I wake up.
I took a walk earlier today, and my thoughts did not go to posting photos on Facebook. I just enjoyed the early Autumn morning, the chilly wind in my hair, the scent of freshly baked bread heavy in the air. The morning sun peeking at me through leaves turning into their breathtakingly beautiful Autumn reds and yellows and oranges. I actually saw the people around me. I talked to the homeless man on the corner. I greeted the guy steaming the carpets in our apartment complex. Without a camera in front of my face to "Share" my morning, I just let myself experiense what was happening.
Yesterday, I broke up with Facebook.
No flash games demanding I drag my friends into the pastel clutches. No intense nagging to share my phone number, my home address, and my home town. No stupid "Security" questions I don't know the answer to. No more searching through three different e-mail inboxes to find a note that lets me access a social network from a new computer.
I was addicted to your allure. I was addicted to the never-ending stream of conciousness pouring in from my friends and family. I was addicted to the articles I was linked to and to not having to search for anything on my own. I started to lose my ability to think, to remember. I was addicted to the convenience of sending a "Happy Birthday" in a wall post, instead of in an e-mail or in a card.
No more.
I broke up with Facebook yesterday and I feel free.
DFTBA
I finally had the strength to break the Devil Snare hold you had on me and I feel refreshed. I don't miss you. I still think I need to share my thoughts and feelings with you, but I don't miss you. 20 hours have passed, and I don't miss you.
No longer is there a tab saying "Facebook" opening with my browser. No longer do I check my news feed as soon as I wake up.
I took a walk earlier today, and my thoughts did not go to posting photos on Facebook. I just enjoyed the early Autumn morning, the chilly wind in my hair, the scent of freshly baked bread heavy in the air. The morning sun peeking at me through leaves turning into their breathtakingly beautiful Autumn reds and yellows and oranges. I actually saw the people around me. I talked to the homeless man on the corner. I greeted the guy steaming the carpets in our apartment complex. Without a camera in front of my face to "Share" my morning, I just let myself experiense what was happening.
Yesterday, I broke up with Facebook.
No flash games demanding I drag my friends into the pastel clutches. No intense nagging to share my phone number, my home address, and my home town. No stupid "Security" questions I don't know the answer to. No more searching through three different e-mail inboxes to find a note that lets me access a social network from a new computer.
I was addicted to your allure. I was addicted to the never-ending stream of conciousness pouring in from my friends and family. I was addicted to the articles I was linked to and to not having to search for anything on my own. I started to lose my ability to think, to remember. I was addicted to the convenience of sending a "Happy Birthday" in a wall post, instead of in an e-mail or in a card.
No more.
I broke up with Facebook yesterday and I feel free.
DFTBA
söndag 30 augusti 2015
One of a kind
For the past three days, I have been watching Kuroko no Basket, and it made me realize something. Being one of a kind is very lonely.
I don't think the way people I know think. I break everything down into smallest common denominators, which makes it extremely easy for me to find connections and co-relations between any subject I am faced with. I can see the path from one end to the other without any real effort, which made school really easy.
And really, really boring.
This is not me bragging, because why brag about something that causes me pain?
From the day I started 2nd grade, I've actively made myself stupid in order to fit in, and to not be bored. It even became second nature, and by the time I started high school, I din't think about what I was doing. My senior year of high school and my first year of university, I didn't open a single book, and I passed every test, every assignment, and every class.
It was during my nine months in Las Vegas that I finally found someone who could understand how I think, and who could push me out of my slump. A brilliant star named Jackson, who was, and is, smarter than I am, but in a very different way. I had fun in school again. I wanted to talk to Jackson about everything, but there wasn't enough time.
I went back to Sweden and started my senior year of high school, and I was bored again. Jackson came to visit the summer after we both graduated, and we had a blast. One month of shenanigans and pranks. Jackson went on to study the human mind, and I am so very proud of them. They still have that edge, that amazing mind, and caring heart.
Seven months after I graduated high school, Boy came into my life, and again, I had someone who would challenge me, intellectually. Someone who understood the way I think, and loves discussions about everything. It took me almost eight years of dating this guy before I could totally drop my imposed stupidity, and admit that life is fun, even when I'm not like everyone else. Yes, it is very lonely to be one of a kind, and I can't explain how I think to most people around me, but I now have a family of people who are supremely intelligent, with minds to rival the smartest in history. Sakuya, Nova, Jackson, Boy. All of them think in different ways, and all of them challenge me. For the longest time, I craved a challenge, and now, I feel like I need to know more, to study more, to experience more, just to keep up.
I will never not feel lonely whenever I feel a need to explain how I think and be met with sneers or blank stares, but I know, finally, that I am not stupid. I am not the one who needs to adapt, to force myself to fit into someone else's comfort zone.
Yes, I need to learn patience.
Yes, I need to learn how to explain things.
Yes, just because it's easy for me, doesn't mean it's easy for someone else.
Yes, I can use my thinking to help others.
No, I don't have to defend myself, my interests, or the way I think, because I have people in my life who will leave me in the dust, intellectually, if I ever dumb myself down again.
Thank you.
DFTBA
I don't think the way people I know think. I break everything down into smallest common denominators, which makes it extremely easy for me to find connections and co-relations between any subject I am faced with. I can see the path from one end to the other without any real effort, which made school really easy.
And really, really boring.
This is not me bragging, because why brag about something that causes me pain?
From the day I started 2nd grade, I've actively made myself stupid in order to fit in, and to not be bored. It even became second nature, and by the time I started high school, I din't think about what I was doing. My senior year of high school and my first year of university, I didn't open a single book, and I passed every test, every assignment, and every class.
It was during my nine months in Las Vegas that I finally found someone who could understand how I think, and who could push me out of my slump. A brilliant star named Jackson, who was, and is, smarter than I am, but in a very different way. I had fun in school again. I wanted to talk to Jackson about everything, but there wasn't enough time.
I went back to Sweden and started my senior year of high school, and I was bored again. Jackson came to visit the summer after we both graduated, and we had a blast. One month of shenanigans and pranks. Jackson went on to study the human mind, and I am so very proud of them. They still have that edge, that amazing mind, and caring heart.
Seven months after I graduated high school, Boy came into my life, and again, I had someone who would challenge me, intellectually. Someone who understood the way I think, and loves discussions about everything. It took me almost eight years of dating this guy before I could totally drop my imposed stupidity, and admit that life is fun, even when I'm not like everyone else. Yes, it is very lonely to be one of a kind, and I can't explain how I think to most people around me, but I now have a family of people who are supremely intelligent, with minds to rival the smartest in history. Sakuya, Nova, Jackson, Boy. All of them think in different ways, and all of them challenge me. For the longest time, I craved a challenge, and now, I feel like I need to know more, to study more, to experience more, just to keep up.
I will never not feel lonely whenever I feel a need to explain how I think and be met with sneers or blank stares, but I know, finally, that I am not stupid. I am not the one who needs to adapt, to force myself to fit into someone else's comfort zone.
Yes, I need to learn patience.
Yes, I need to learn how to explain things.
Yes, just because it's easy for me, doesn't mean it's easy for someone else.
Yes, I can use my thinking to help others.
No, I don't have to defend myself, my interests, or the way I think, because I have people in my life who will leave me in the dust, intellectually, if I ever dumb myself down again.
Thank you.
DFTBA
onsdag 29 juli 2015
Time Travel
What is time?
This time, the post will be different from what I usually talk about, but I have mentioned that I like science, so a post like this shouldn't come as a surprise.
I have been thinking about the possibility of time travel from time to time, since the concept is one I find very interesting. The concept is so extremely complicated and so fascinating in its complexity. Many people think about time travel as just travelling from one point in time to another point in time, and science fiction often use this short-cut way of thinking about it. What many people forget is that things move in space as well as in time. Time and Space is the same continuum. You can't travel in one without travelling in the other. And that poses another problem.
If you've ever watched a science fiction show that deals with time travelling, you've undoubtedly run into the phenomenon known as the Grandfather Paradox, in which you accidentally kill your grandfather and, by extent, yourself. This is the first problem with time travel.
The second one is the concept of time itself. What is time? Is it a "wibbly-wobbly timey wimey" thing? Is it a progression from order to entropy? Is it both or neither? In any case, the concept of time travel itself grants that if time travel has ever been invented, it will always have existed. If it has been invented, why are there not more time travellers? Is deja vu just the result of our present being altered by travellers changing the past?
The third part has to do with the time-space continuum. If you have played any video game including teleportation you have probably run across the concept of coordinates and how missing a coordinate can send you into a tree or the bottom of the ocean or inside a mountain. Time travel is really the same thing, except on a much larger scale. In order to travel in time, you have to know the exact coordinates of the spot you want to land in. These coordinates have to be pinned down, not only to where they lead to on this tiny planet, but where you are in relations to everything else in the entire universe. Where was the planet 10 minutes, 10 years, or 10 millenia ago? By this thought, we need to have mapped all corners of the universe, in its entirety, in order to safely move through time by any means other than our own linear progression from order to entropy. The universe is expanding, and while heliocentrism gives us that our solar system is not a vortex but a helix, we are still moving around the center of the Milky Way, and the Milky Way is moving in its own way. While the wrong coordinates in Minecraft would land you inside a mountin, the wrong coordinates in time-space travel might land you in a black hole or a neutron star.
But for now
DFTBA
This time, the post will be different from what I usually talk about, but I have mentioned that I like science, so a post like this shouldn't come as a surprise.
I have been thinking about the possibility of time travel from time to time, since the concept is one I find very interesting. The concept is so extremely complicated and so fascinating in its complexity. Many people think about time travel as just travelling from one point in time to another point in time, and science fiction often use this short-cut way of thinking about it. What many people forget is that things move in space as well as in time. Time and Space is the same continuum. You can't travel in one without travelling in the other. And that poses another problem.
If you've ever watched a science fiction show that deals with time travelling, you've undoubtedly run into the phenomenon known as the Grandfather Paradox, in which you accidentally kill your grandfather and, by extent, yourself. This is the first problem with time travel.
The second one is the concept of time itself. What is time? Is it a "wibbly-wobbly timey wimey" thing? Is it a progression from order to entropy? Is it both or neither? In any case, the concept of time travel itself grants that if time travel has ever been invented, it will always have existed. If it has been invented, why are there not more time travellers? Is deja vu just the result of our present being altered by travellers changing the past?
The third part has to do with the time-space continuum. If you have played any video game including teleportation you have probably run across the concept of coordinates and how missing a coordinate can send you into a tree or the bottom of the ocean or inside a mountain. Time travel is really the same thing, except on a much larger scale. In order to travel in time, you have to know the exact coordinates of the spot you want to land in. These coordinates have to be pinned down, not only to where they lead to on this tiny planet, but where you are in relations to everything else in the entire universe. Where was the planet 10 minutes, 10 years, or 10 millenia ago? By this thought, we need to have mapped all corners of the universe, in its entirety, in order to safely move through time by any means other than our own linear progression from order to entropy. The universe is expanding, and while heliocentrism gives us that our solar system is not a vortex but a helix, we are still moving around the center of the Milky Way, and the Milky Way is moving in its own way. While the wrong coordinates in Minecraft would land you inside a mountin, the wrong coordinates in time-space travel might land you in a black hole or a neutron star.
But for now
DFTBA
onsdag 22 juli 2015
Utöya 22 Jul 2011
Boy and I were visiting my mother-in-law.
We had just finished dinner and were waiting for coffee. I was watching the news out of the corner of my eye while engaging MIL in a conversation. I don't remember what we were talking about, but suddenly, reports of an explosion in Oslo caught my eye. The explosion had happened earlier that day. Then the news switched to something else, and coffee was ready.
I remember standing up to get my cup when the first reports came in.
I remember opening Facebook to see if anyone of my Norwegian friends had any news.
I remember seeing a friend sending warnings to not text or call their children on Utöya, as that would reveal their location to the killer.
I sat there, on the arm rest of a grey couch, in the white walled living room, a cup of coffee in my hand. Frozen in place as I could do nothing for the desperate children throwing themselves into the fiord to try and escape the man with the military grade automatic rifle.
I thought of all the parents, unable to call their children. Parents unable to do anything as a terrorist swept over the island, killing and injuring anyone he could find.
69 young people lost their lives on Utöya, killed by a xenophobic, islamophobic, and misogynistic terrorist named Anders Bering-Breivik. 110 people were injured.
8 people died in the explosion in Oslo. An explosion set up by the same terrorist.
Let us NEVER forget this massacre. Do not let those who died have died in vain.
More info
We had just finished dinner and were waiting for coffee. I was watching the news out of the corner of my eye while engaging MIL in a conversation. I don't remember what we were talking about, but suddenly, reports of an explosion in Oslo caught my eye. The explosion had happened earlier that day. Then the news switched to something else, and coffee was ready.
I remember standing up to get my cup when the first reports came in.
I remember opening Facebook to see if anyone of my Norwegian friends had any news.
I remember seeing a friend sending warnings to not text or call their children on Utöya, as that would reveal their location to the killer.
I sat there, on the arm rest of a grey couch, in the white walled living room, a cup of coffee in my hand. Frozen in place as I could do nothing for the desperate children throwing themselves into the fiord to try and escape the man with the military grade automatic rifle.
I thought of all the parents, unable to call their children. Parents unable to do anything as a terrorist swept over the island, killing and injuring anyone he could find.
69 young people lost their lives on Utöya, killed by a xenophobic, islamophobic, and misogynistic terrorist named Anders Bering-Breivik. 110 people were injured.
8 people died in the explosion in Oslo. An explosion set up by the same terrorist.
Let us NEVER forget this massacre. Do not let those who died have died in vain.
More info
torsdag 9 juli 2015
Weird experience is a good thing
As a child, I was nuts. I was outspoken, easy-going, and all over the place. I would flirt with alcoholics, I would talk to anyone who gave me even a slightest bit of attention, and I was always laughing.
I grew up in a very nice neighborhood. I've mentioned before that when I was 10 years old, I was the only one in my year who had not been to the Mediterranean.
The neighborhood was nice. Very nice. I had a few rules to follow, but other than that, I was free to conjur up and execute whatever shenanigans my little kid brain could imagine. And it could imagine a lot.
"Don't cross the big road."
"Don't talk to strangers."
"Don't accept candy or food from strangers."
"I want to meet all your friends and their parents before you can go there and play."
"Don't follow strangers anywhere."
"Keep an eye on your sister."
"You do not leave this block on your own."
Those were my rules. I didn't even know there was something called pedophiles until I was 12, because it wasn't an issue.
The climate has hardened severely in Sweden. Kids no longer feel safe playing on their own. Parents don't feel safe letting kids play on their own.
Fashion and material status has an ever younger target, and it makes me sad. Always being judged for what you eat, what you wear, what things you own.
So, you can imagine my happy surprise when I came to Swords. Children play unsupervised in the enclosure made by the apartment buildings. I saw a child laying on a bench without a fear in the world, and no one was fussing over it. I saw a child looking for her mother in the mall, but she would not talk to me when I asked if she wanted help. Children here seem to be raised the same way I was, and it makes me happy.
The climate here is so very different, and I love every second of it. People are so friendly, so kind, and so helpful. I hope to see this attitude spread further and further across the world.
DFTBA
I grew up in a very nice neighborhood. I've mentioned before that when I was 10 years old, I was the only one in my year who had not been to the Mediterranean.
The neighborhood was nice. Very nice. I had a few rules to follow, but other than that, I was free to conjur up and execute whatever shenanigans my little kid brain could imagine. And it could imagine a lot.
"Don't cross the big road."
"Don't talk to strangers."
"Don't accept candy or food from strangers."
"I want to meet all your friends and their parents before you can go there and play."
"Don't follow strangers anywhere."
"Keep an eye on your sister."
"You do not leave this block on your own."
Those were my rules. I didn't even know there was something called pedophiles until I was 12, because it wasn't an issue.
The climate has hardened severely in Sweden. Kids no longer feel safe playing on their own. Parents don't feel safe letting kids play on their own.
Fashion and material status has an ever younger target, and it makes me sad. Always being judged for what you eat, what you wear, what things you own.
So, you can imagine my happy surprise when I came to Swords. Children play unsupervised in the enclosure made by the apartment buildings. I saw a child laying on a bench without a fear in the world, and no one was fussing over it. I saw a child looking for her mother in the mall, but she would not talk to me when I asked if she wanted help. Children here seem to be raised the same way I was, and it makes me happy.
The climate here is so very different, and I love every second of it. People are so friendly, so kind, and so helpful. I hope to see this attitude spread further and further across the world.
DFTBA
lördag 4 juli 2015
My baby is electronic
I got a new laptop yesterday and it made me think about all the ways a laptop is like a child, and the ways it is not.
How a laptop is like a child
- Both make weird noises for no apparent reason.
- Both scream at you at times, and you have no idea why.
- Both need a constant positive flow of energy to function.
- Both need care and love to develope in the way you want.
- Both do things you don't understand.
- Both find information you rather they didn't.
- Both are prone to catch viruses, making your life harder.
- Both can be fuzzy when tucked into sleep.
- Both tend to get dirty, and you don't know how.
- Both ask questions that either annoy you or stump you (or both)
- After you've cared for either of them for a while, both get addicted to apps and develope a maximum distance from an outlet in which they function.
How a laptop is not like a child
- A laptop is a computer. A child is a living being.
- A laptop doesn't throw a fit if you don't play with it for a day.
- You don't have to buy diapers for a laptop.
- Baby food is not food. Electricity is always electricity.
DFTBA
How a laptop is like a child
- Both make weird noises for no apparent reason.
- Both scream at you at times, and you have no idea why.
- Both need a constant positive flow of energy to function.
- Both need care and love to develope in the way you want.
- Both do things you don't understand.
- Both find information you rather they didn't.
- Both are prone to catch viruses, making your life harder.
- Both can be fuzzy when tucked into sleep.
- Both tend to get dirty, and you don't know how.
- Both ask questions that either annoy you or stump you (or both)
- After you've cared for either of them for a while, both get addicted to apps and develope a maximum distance from an outlet in which they function.
How a laptop is not like a child
- A laptop is a computer. A child is a living being.
- A laptop doesn't throw a fit if you don't play with it for a day.
- You don't have to buy diapers for a laptop.
- Baby food is not food. Electricity is always electricity.
DFTBA
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