On the first day of...

I started writing this almost two weeks ago and I'm too lazy to change it, so just imagine that it's two weeks ago.


Twelve days left until my wedding and I'm finally getting through to my thick jerkbrain that everything will turn out great. Being out in the beach house for an overcast and rainy weekend really helped, as did the books I managed to read. I love reading and being able to relax enough to enjoy a book is a huge deal for me.

The three books I read were "The Catcher in the Rye" by J.D Salinger, "And Abundance of Katherines" by John Green, and "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald.

An Abundance of Katherines

I highly recommend this book to anyone who has ever wondered if they're wasting their time. It is a beautiful story about a guy who feels like he is losing himself and the heartbreak he experiences in the wake of a breakup. This guy, Colin, and his friend Hassan goes on a road trip to get Colin's mind off of his latest love-gone-sour, and they end up right in the arms of The Strange Unknown.
The build up is captivating and the descriptions are on the right side of enough to be intriguing.
This is a really really good read.


The Catcher in the Rye

I know that many people don't like this book, mainly because it's one of those books school teachers like to make students read. I have so far never liked a single book I've been forced to read, so I can fully understand the opposition.
It is, however, a really good book. The language is very appropriate for the character of Holden Caulfield. Holden is not a very likable character, yet I couldn't help to feel for him. Holden is just a guy who is afraid of facing his parents' disappointment once again, and is trying to reach out to the people he meets. No one listens and Holden feels more and more lonely.
It was a little tricky for me to reconcile the uses of words, especially words I use for totally different things than Holden does. English is not my first language, but eventually I managed to get it straight.

The Great Gatsby

I couldn't really get into this story. I liked the characters and the story telling very much. There was just something that prevented me from being able to  identify with the characters. It also feels a bit unfinished to me.
The one thing that really made an impression on me was Gatsby's profound loneliness. He's completely obsessed with Daisy Buchanan and wants her in his life again, but in the end, not only doesn't he get her back, no one but Nick Caraway seems to actually care at all. It seems like a very good description of the mindless search for those 15 Minutes.

SAFE SANE CONSENSUAL

  - or Why "50 Shades of Grey" is dangerous.

I would like to start by pointing out that I do not ever advocate the banning of books for any reasons. The written word, once published, should be allowed to stay out in the open.
That said, the author is responsible for what they publish. The publisher and editors are responsible for what they let pass their nets. It's up to the editor to say "Hold on. What do you want to say with this text?" If the author self publish, they are fully responsible for their work. The End.

Secondly, I am a masochistic submissive who spends way too much time on google, tumblr and on the Internet in general. It took me YEARS to research everything I wanted to know about the Scene. YEARS!

Now, why is 50 Shades so dangerous? Here's a list.

1. It promotes abuse under the name of BDSM.

- Anyone with the ability to google will find that there's a world of difference between violence and abuse, and S/M play. There are so many rules surrounding BDSM Scene.
 
Safewords.
Consent.
Silent safewords.
Hygene.
Scenario descriptions.
Negotiations.
Contracts.

This is the core of SAFE.

2. If anyone in the Scene feels that something's off, it's no longer Play.

- It is incredibly easy to disguise violence and abuse under the name of S/M Play. That is why there are rules. Strict rules. You do not deviate from the rules if you want to call it Play.

This is also part of SAFE.

3. Negotiations are the foundation of BDSM.

- Talk about EVERYTHING you want from a Scene. Limits, what you want, what you don't want, what you will not do under any circumstances.
Stick to the things you agree on. Do not deviate from the agreements without re-negotiations.
Each Scene should be negotiated before starting. Each Scene is different and should be treated as such.

Negotiations is the main part of SANE and CONSENSUAL.

4. Drugs and alcohol have NO room in BDSM play...

- UNLESS it's part of something the participants of the Scene have previously agree upon. (See negotiations)

This is part of SANE.

5. "50 Shades of Grey" is promoting un-negotiated Master/slave dynamics.

- Some people in the Scene enjoy the M/s dynamic. The difference between pushing someone down and fulfilling someone's need to be subservient is NEGOTIATIONS. If you want a 24/7 dynamic, you need a contract.
There are also major differences between Slave and Submissive. Google it.

A contract fulfills all three aspects of SAFE, SANE, and CONSENSUAL. I have yet to see negotiations or contracts in 50 Shades.

- - - - - - - -

If you want more information about Scene, here are some links.

Quick intro to further reading.
National Coalition for Sexual Freedom
Description of Safe, Sane, Consensual
A Submissive's Guide
A Video

Here are some really good BDSM fanfiction

- Demented Dee writes some amazing fiction, both original and fanfiction
- Liralen Li kicks major writing butt.