A family of many

Today is International Day Against Homophobia, Bi-phobia, and Transphobia. It breaks my heart that this day has to be a thing, but it makes me proud to stand with the people defending the right to be an individual and to love whoever your heart has decided to love.

I have tried for many years to understand how people can hate others based on who you love or who you are. I understand hate based on actions. Hitler deserves to be hated. As does Mussoulini, Putin, and several others. They killed and destroyed for their own gain.
But to hate someone because they want to be left in peace? I just do not understand it.

In psychology, there are two terms I have taken to heart and now use frequently - Family of Origin and Family of Choice. Family of Origin means the family that raised you. Doesn't have to be biological in any way. It's just the group of people who raised you. Family of Choice is the group of people you feel close to, but aren't necessarily related to, for example soldiers in the Marines, LGBTQIA+ allies, or a close knit sports team.

My Family of Origin is my mom, my dad, and my younger sister. My parents have been married for almost 33 years now. They both identify as straight and belong to the Swedish Protestant Church. Their church activities are limited to the odd Christmas Choir Conserts and not much more. My sister doesn't like labels and therefore doesn't use them that often, but when pressed, she says she's gay. She's also a Protestant, but mostly in name, like most Swedes. I am gray-asexual and a Shintoist.

My family of Choice is a bit bigger. There's my sibling Jackson, who follows Universe, my, I think, sexuality-fluid sister Sakuya, who's religious views I don't know, and my husband Andreas, who refuses to follow any creed except Ego Sum ("I am"), which makes labels exceptionally arbitrary, both in sexuality and religious views.

My family of Origin are all of Germanic descent. My maternal grandmother came from Germany, my father's ancestors are of Swedish-Norwegian descent.
In my family of choice, there are people of Irish, Latin-American, and Germanic descent.
In my combined family, we all have varying degrees of hair and skin pigmentation. We speak different languages, we see the world through different lenses. We have freckles and ginger hair, we are big bodied and slim bodied. We are tall and short.

And we are all family.

I will never understand hate based on who you were born as. You can't change who you love. You don't choose who you are.
Stand proud as who you are! Do not let others dictate your individuality! Yes, it sounds much easier than it is, and trust me, standing up to oppression is the hardest thing you will ever do, but living in hiding, living in fear, crushing who you are to make others accept you will just make you hate yourself more.

You are a miracle just the way you are, and if we stand together, one day, we will win.

DFTBA