A Woman's Choice

Yesterday, years of waiting, longing and planning met its climax and I finally went through with the sterilization procedure.

For the last five years, people have been on my ass about "settling down and getting a family", not realizing that I already have the family I need and/or want. When I've told these people that I'm not having children, they would have one out of three reactions:

1. They would get angry, and accuse me of being inconsiderate of those who want children but can't have them.

2. They wouldn't believe me and tell me that I'd change my mind.

3. They would ignore me or dismiss me, possibly adding #2 as an afterthought.

When I mentioned that I wanted to get sterilized, all three reactions immediately turned into one, and people would get angry and accusative. That eventually merged into annoyed acceptance, but it still stung to know that so many people could send so little thought and respect in my general direction.

I am now 28 years old and I have finally followed through with the biggest decision I have ever made, and it feels amazing. It was completely my choice, it was completely for my sake, and I feel so happy about the whole thing, even though it's slightly tinged with a bit of meh.

You know stuff is about to happen when you get an official looking letter in your mail box, including a long list of things you need to do before even going to the hospital.
I had to remove my pretty pretty green sparkly nail polish, my earrings, my engagement ring and my necklace.
I wasn't allowed to eat anything after midnight, in much the same way as Gremlins, but less furry.
I wasn't allowed to drink anything 2 hours before the procedure, excluding the half mouthful needed to swallow pain killers and my wenlafaxine.
I had to scrub hair and skin extremely clean.

I got to the hospital at 9.15 am. I met a nurse at 9.30 am and she did some tests, which all turned out fine (Hah, this overweight woman is still healthy. Take that, body shamers) and then I got down to Surgery.

If any of you have been lucky enough to never be in a hospital, let me just add that those gowns are NOT comfortable. This time, someone had used their brain cells and there were two gowns, first an unflattering white one and then a thicker blue one.

Also, apparently, telling a patient that they might have to stay the night is not necessary until they get there on the day of the surgery. I was so angry that I cried while waiting for my doctor. Then my doctor showed up and she was just amazing. I might have a small crush on her, she was that amazing.
She ensured me that I would not be staying unless something majorly bad happened during or after the procedure. Then everything turned into a whirlwind of IV needles, blood pressure machines, weird instruments and carts and sterile tables with extremely uncomfortable gynecology leg rests.

And there was pain the likes I have never felt before and water and plastic, and the nurse injected pain killers in my IV and the world was alright again.

At 1 pm, I was ready to go home. At 1.10 pm I was allowed to get up and walk around. At 1.15 PM I got sandwiches and coffee, a warm blanket, and comfortable arm chair, and a cooking show on TV. At 3.20 pm I was finally allowed to leave, so I got dressed and met up with Boy. Then there was dinner at my parents' because it was my mom's birthday. I was home again at 7.40 pm. It was a really long day.

I am so happy that everything went so smoothly, but it feels slightly weird since I've wanted this for so long. So now I'm sitting here, two tiny metal spirals in my fallopian tubes and in three months time, they should be completely closed (the tubes, not the spirals).

I have done something for myself and it turned out great. No more worries, and hopefully no more nagging.