Am I a demi-goddess?*

I read this article and started thinking.

I have never really felt sexual attraction to people, unless there has been an emotional bond at the base. Looking back at old relationships, I have never really felt a sexual attraction towards anyone except my current partner, which makes life both easy and complicated.

Easy in the sense that no bothersome attraction can derail my thoughts.

Complicated in the sense that I seem uninterested/bored/aloof when I hardly even look at people my friends are drooling over.

I mean, really. How do you explain to someone that while I find many people aesthetically attractive, I have no interest in going on a "bumpy ride" in the bedroom with them? I don't even get sexual fantasies about people around me, so how am I supposed to respond when someone goes "Check out that person. They're so hot!" Do I nod? Do I make a comment? Do I tell them that I don't really find anyone sexually attractive? Do I tell them that they can oogle all they want, but that I'm not interested?

Another bothersome thing is the insecurity I feel when it comes to my partner. I love Boy, I like having sex with Boy, and I think he's gorgeous. It's just that the times when I want sex are few and far between. I guess the confusion comes when I know that I enjoy sex on a physical level, and I enjoy the post-coital connection we have, but as I mentioned in the last sentence, the times when I want the D are few and far between. Sometimes, I feel that he's getting frustrated with me, but Boy is such a wonderful person that he'd never coerce, force, persuade, or goad me into having sex if I don't want to. The annoying thing is that sometimes, I want to do sexual things because I know he likes it, and I like seeing him enjoy himself, but the conflict there is wanting the do sex things without me actually being in the sex thing.

Ok, end of TMI.

I guess, what I am trying to put in writing is that sexuality can be such a confusing and frustrating thing when one is not hetero-romantic heterosexual. As for me, I think I'm more pan-romantic demi-sexual. Just having a name for things helps a lot when building a foundation, but I am still so full of questions that I need more research to feel confident in my own self and my sexuality.

Then again, if you want to believe the conservative forces, being a demi-sexual woman is the ultimate perfection. Women aren't supposed to want sex, after all. *epic eyeroll*






*Title taken from "Does that mean they only sleep with demi-gods?" from this article.