First World Dilemma

This is going to sound really really silly and very complainy (and yes, I speak tumblr. I like speaking tumblr, it makes me happy) but really, I have a bit of a problem. I think it's in one part a nerd/fangirl problem and in another part not so much a problem, but more of a OMGI'mBeingGirly type thing, which is very weird for me.

So, my dilemma is that I really only have two things on my mind right now. Thing 1 is OMGI'MGETTINGMARRIED*velociraptorschreekofjoy* and Thing 2 is HOLYHANDBAGI'MGETTINGMARRIED *anxietysquidofflail*. Both these things are just as annoying to people around me as their namesakes from "The Cat In The Hat" are.

I want to be able to write funny, interesting posts about current events, how to cope with life, and cute cat photos, but if I go looking for current events I turn into a green rage monster of anger, I start crying, or I get stuck on some blog that makes me feel sick.

Maybe I should just write about why being girly feels weird to me? Yeah, I can do that.

I am tall for being a woman. I know that. I have always known that. At 5'8" (173 cm) I am about three - four inches (7.5 - 10 cm) taller than the Swedish national average for women. I am not 100% about the numbers, but I know I'm taller than most women.

Add not having the figure of a runway model, and I've always felt like a giant. Giant women/girls are not supposed to be girly and like girly things, or so I thought.

Add to that a profound dislike for the color pink, and you can image my wardrobe. 50 shades of black, blue, and purple (mostly black). Hoodies, jeans, formal trousers, and band t-shirts. I also don't like it when my thighs rub together, so I rarely wear skirts or dresses, even though I like skirts and dresses.
I own one pair of high heeled shoes, and I have no idea where that pair is. I own, in total, seven pairs of shoes - one pair of winter boots, one pair of leather boots that no longer fit, one pair of trainers, one pair of sandals, one pair of high heeled sandals, and two pairs of ballerina style shoes.

My nails are a nightmare, I don't wear make-up, and the only products I use in my hair are shampoo and conditioner.

Now imagine me trying my damnedest to be girly, and you can see where this is going. My ObssessOverThings personality is going "This Thing!", my mind is going "You are ANNOYING PEOPLE!", my feelings are going GiantBallOfAnxietyFLAIL and my fingers are all flaky from too many needle pricklings, because my sewing machine is throwing a tantrum and I'm too lazy to convince it to work, so I'm hand sewing my dress.

I need more coffee (says the already hyperactive Hedgehog).

Also, I HATE APRIL FOOL'S DAY!!!!